之前解析请见【牛津课堂】>【原创干货】>【文书关4-6】。请注意：

◆本系列所有文章为学弟学妹提供实例，已事先获得本人同意

◆为防止无良中介恶意抄袭/盗用，不提供具体修改过程

评价：

◆ 大量重复繁冗内容陈述对所申请国家的向往，是结尾段忌讳之一；

◆ 对比中外教育，是结尾段忌讳之二；

◆ 以认识朋友/教授/家人为申请理由，是结尾段忌讳之三；

◆ 恳求语气/比心跪求对方录取，是结尾段忌之四。

The Department of X at X has long been dedicated to developing innovative solutions to the world’s most pressing challenges in X fields. Your professors and students are committed to looking for possible sources of alternative energy while making current ones more sustainable, an endeavor that parallels my vision. There are over eight prominent professors who stay at the forefront of studying A, B and C. Working with them would equip me with both subject-specific knowledge and integrative understanding across a variety of energy issues. In addition, X’s research centers, especially the A, promote energy innovations by providing university-wide interdisciplinary research and national or international collaborations. Therefore, I will have more access to academic exchanges and cross-university facilities to maximize my success. I believe that with my previous excellent research background, which proved me a broadly educated and highly adaptable person, I am a promising candidate for your esteemed program.

 评价：

◆ program/department的goal如何与personal goal相match，是结尾段必备因素之一；

◆ 罗列并评价哪些prof/course/subjects让你刚兴趣，是结尾段必备因素之二；

◆ 罗列并评价其他让你动心的resources，是结尾段必备因素之三；

◆ 这些prof/course/subject/resources如何助力你的long and short term goals，是结尾段必备因素之四；

◆ 结尾一句话总结全文，表明申请意图，不卑不亢，完美收官。